Hang on Little Tomato

On a merry vine in a quiet garden somewhere in a humble town, a tomato was born. It was happy and free, and delighted in the company of all the citizens of the gardens. The Watermelons were so sweet and had a great sense of humor. The Apples liked to hang out all day, cruising through life with a crisp sense of gaiety. The Carrots had very keen vision for the future of the garden, and could always be relied on to help others envision themselves in that dream. And those Potatoes could mix a wicked drink!

The little Tomato got bigger, and took lessons from all the garden’s inhabitants. The Fruits and Vegetables both had something beautiful to offer, teaching him the ways of the earth, of life, of happiness and love. Fruit always had juicy secrets to share, and Vegetables taught the Tomato strength and maturity.

The garden began to expand, and soon, all the produce grew up. The former friends began spending time only with produce of their own kind. The Strawberries didn’t want to hang near the vines on which the Pumpkins grew, and the Blueberries slowly retreated to a corner of the patch away from the Beets. Soon, the sprinkler became the divide in a feud reminiscent of Broadway theatrics. Neither Fruit nor Vegetable would dare venture to the other side.

The Tomato, however, would still pay a visit to both sides of the garden. It would tan with the Eggplant in the morning and party with the Papaya after dark. But then, the inevitable happened.

News Flash: “Tomatoes everywhere have been credited with being good for health, and have rich levels of antioxidants that help prevent prostate cancer.”

The Fruit community was beaming with pride, with watermelons writing home to their apple friends in Washington and Mt. Fuji that a Fruit had made headlines and would bring them unending attention and praise from the food community. Meanwhile, the Vegetables were bursting with exuberance – none more than the crafty Lentil, who for the longest had fought to remind people that Tomatoes were one of the most underappreciated Vegetables in the produce aisle, and had been long awaiting some recognition to bootstrap. For years, these two communities had been locked in a war, battling back and forth that Vegetables had always forced Fruits into a sub-produce life because Fruits taste so good that people never consider their health offerings, while Vegetables stood chest out, feeling entitled to the throne due to their continued publicity lauding their health benefits and continued encouragements from parents to eat them.

It began with comments made under Vegetables’ breath. Whispers that the Fruits finally can get over themselves because a Vegetable that just happened to be mistaken as a Fruit would get this much regal treatment in the press were heard in passing. Then the Fruits began to get offended and irritated, citing their passion for their kind as the reason they would not let the Vegetables cheapen the accomplishments of this regal fruit by using it to excuse the years of tyranny from the Vegetables.

The argument approached near violence as both sides of the garden raised swords to lay claim to the popular product of the vine.

Orange demanded to know who in their right mind would look at a Tomato, with its soft insides and tough rind, seeded flesh and earthy taste, and ever confuses it with anything but a Fruit.

Lettuce stood their ground, firing back that just because the produce share similar aesthetic trait, it acts and is used more like a Vegetable, and should be considered such.

And they fought…

“FRUIT!”

And they fought…

“VEGETABLE!”

And they fought…

“It has seeds, it’s a fruit!”

“So what? So do cucumbers! It’s not used for sweet cooking, so it must be a vegetable”

Raised voices turned to pushing. Shoving turned to melee. And soon, the entire garden fell deathly silent as the morning rain washed away the juices and seeds spilled from the bowels of fallen comrades.

And the tomato? The tomato was partying with the plantain and the bok choy, oblivious to the raging war not too far away.

The Tomato just wants to hang. Just let the Tomato be…

-The UE